Wednesday 16 January 2008

If baby I’m the bottom, you’re the top!



It is the centenary of the birth of the owner of one of the biggest voices in showbiz - happy birthday Ethel Merman!

Ethel Zimmerman may not have been the greatest "looker" of her generation, but she soon rose from the ranks in the live performance stakes. She was "discovered" while working for a car parts company, and from an early start in vaudeville was soon snapped up by the likes of George and Ira Gershwin and Cole Porter.

With such estimable backing she soon leapt to stardom, notably with her signature song There's No Business Like Showbusiness and her long-remembered starring role in Anything Goes, belting out hit songs like Blow Gabriel Blow and You're the Top. Dozens more shows, films and guest appearances followed in her long career, including in It's A Mad Mad Mad World and we won't even mention her appearance in Airplane, nor the fantastic Ethel Merman Disco Album...

There's no-one in showbiz who could ever touch the sheer gutsy bravado of Ms Merman - and indeed she was admired by (and was an inspiration for) some of the biggest and the best in the business, including Elaine Stritch, Angela Lansbury, Bea Arthur and Lucille Ball.

Ethel Merman's crowning glory was as "Mama" in Gypsy - a role which was always going to be "hers", despite losing out on the original film role to Rosalind Russell (who then ended up having her voice dubbed). Of Russell's role, Merman said: "There's a name for women like her but it's seldom used in society outside [of] a kennel."

A class act indeed!


You're the Top
At words poetic, I'm so pathetic
That I always have found it best,
Instead of getting 'em off my chest,
To let 'em rest unexpressed,
I hate parading my serenading
As I'll probably miss a bar,
But if this ditty is not so pretty
At least it'll tell you
How great you are.

You're the top!
You're the Coliseum.
You're the top!
You're the Louvre Museum.
You're a melody from a symphony by Strauss
You're a Bendel bonnet,
A Shakespeare's sonnet,
You're Mickey Mouse.
You're the Nile,
You're the Tower of Pisa,
You're the smile on the Mona Lisa
I'm a worthless check, a total wreck, a flop,
But if, baby, I'm the bottom you're the top!

Your words poetic are not pathetic.
On the other hand, babe, you shine,
And I can feel after every line
A thrill divine
Down my spine.
Now gifted humans like Vincent Youmans
Might think that your song is bad,
But I got a notion
I'll second the motion
And this is what I'm going to add;

You're the top!
You're Mahatma Gandhi.
You're the top!
You're Napoleon Brandy.
You're the purple light
Of a summer night in Spain,
You're the National Gallery
You're Garbo's salary,
You're cellophane.
You're sublime,
You're turkey dinner,
You're the time, the time of a Derby winner
I'm a toy balloon that's fated soon to pop
But if, baby, I'm the bottom,
You're the top!

You're the top!
You're an arrow collar
You're the top!
You're a Coolidge dollar,
You're the nimble tread
Of the feet of Fred Astaire,
You're an O'Neill drama,

You're Whistler's mama!

You're camembert.

You're a rose,
You're Inferno's Dante,

You're the nose
On the great Durante.
I'm just in a way,
As the French would say, "de trop".
But if, baby, I'm the bottom,
You're the top!

You're the top!
You're a dance in Bali.
You're the top!
You're a hot tamale.
You're an angel, you,
Simply too, too, too diveen,
You're a Boticcelli,
You're Keats,
You're Shelly!

You're Ovaltine!
You're a boom,
You're the dam at Boulder,
You're the moon,
Over Mae West's shoulder,
I'm the nominee of the G.O.P.

Or GOP!

But if, baby, I'm the bottom,
You're the top!

You're the top!
You're a Waldorf salad.
You're the top!
You're a Berlin ballad.
You're the boats that glide
On the sleepy Zuider Zee,
You're an old Dutch master,

You're Lady Astor,
You're broccoli!
You're romance,
You're the steppes of Russia,
You're the pants, on a Roxy usher,
I'm a broken doll, a fol-de-rol, a blop,

But if, baby, I'm the bottom,
You're the top!


Ethel Merman page on Musicals 101

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